Wk 8 – Activity – Writing About Art

VIEWING AND CRITIQUING TYLER’S ARTIST CONVERSATION POST 

For today’s activity, I will be reading and critiquing both Tyler’s artist conversation post as well as mine in a constructive manner.

  1. Technical Items – Need Improvement
  • Spelling error: The artist name was spelled incorrectly throughout the post.
  • Clarity: The last sentence could be clearer. For example, it could be rewritten and rearrange as: “I can empathized this theme of childhood memories in art because seeing snapshots of Weibel’s memories were interesting.”
  • Run-on sentence: “As stated by artist Weibel, the inspiration for this show came from an experience in which she was searching through childhood photos and could help but worry about the fact that memories are typically unreliable.” This sentence can be split into two complete sentences.

2. Conceptual Items – No Improvement Needed

3. Conceptual Items – Outstanding Analysis 

  • Nice insight: “Weibel sought out to, through art, create a representation of her memories.”
  • Compelling use of language: “Human memory tends to be fluid, and memories one might believe to be a true recount of what happened are often muddled with inaccuracy.”
  • Descriptive and detailed: “The materials use to create the various pieces are made of mostly ceramics and zip ties but other materials features include rope and AstroTurf.  You can see the use of ceramic rods used to create representations of things like windows, jungle-gyms, and swing sets.”

Summary: Great analysis Tyler, I really liked how detailed and descriptive your last paragraph was. Also, your analysis on Weibel’s theme was spot on. As for the minor errors which needed improvements, I believe you can easily fix it by proof -read it the second time.

VIEWING AND CRITIQUING MY ARTIST CONVERSATION POST 

  1. Technical Items – Need Improvement
  • Verb agreement
  • Clarity
  • Punctuation

2. Conceptual Items – No Improvement Needed

3. Conceptual Items – Outstanding Analysis 

  • Nice insight
  • Good usage of language
  • Detailed

Summary: I’m still not a perfect writer myself and I know I need to improve on my grammar game, especially with the subject-verb agreement part. Overall, it was hard for me to constructively critique my own writing but I felt I did a good job at analyzing the artist work.

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